Georgia: The Hilltops of Tbilisi

Steep steps and no easy paths make it hard work to get on the walls of Narikala Fortress
Steep steps and no easy paths make it hard work to get on the walls of Narikala Fortress

Are there any positives about travelling to the former Russian Republic of Georgia? In my previous posts I have written about some pretty negative experiences I had whilst I was there. Well I would say the best reason to visit Georgia is to spend time in Tbilisi.

Tbilisi was the reason I’d wanted to visit Georgia for all those years. I’d wanted to go ever since I saw Juliet Morris go there on the Travel Show in 1999, it looked like a fascinating city. And it turned out that it was.

The Mother of Georgia overlooks the city of Tbilisi
The Mother of Georgia overlooks the city of Tbilisi

I’d ended up in Kutaisi in Georgia because it was the cheapest way to get into the country.  The low cost airlines were flying there rather than into Tbilisi.  However, after the theft of my iPod and my bizarre experience with the Georgian police, I got out of Kutaisi the next day and I arrived in the capital city, Tbilisi.

My journey to Tbilisi was not pleasant. I got one of the collective minibuses from Kutaisi which were cheap, but they were also cramped and dirty and uncomfortable. The owner of the first hotel I stayed at in Kutaisi took me to the place where the minibuses to Tbilisi leave from, but he ripped me off, which was a common occurrence in Georgia. I was viewed as a rich Western tourist and most of the taxi drivers and tourist establishments charged well over the odds and did their best to rip me off. In this instance, the owner short changed me, it didn’t amount to much, but even so, I don’t like being cheated and was determined he wouldn’t get any more money out of me; when I returned to Kutaisi, I’d be staying elsewhere.

The highest point in Tbilisi, Mtatsminda Hill topped by the TV Tower seen from the second highest point in the city, Narikala Hill
The highest point in Tbilisi, Mtatsminda Hill topped by the TV Tower seen from the second highest point in the city, Narikala Hill

Anyway, the minibus to Tbilisi only cost 10 Lari, which is the equivalent of about £3. So it was definitely cheap. After my poor experience in Kutaisi, I was thankful that my next guesthouse was much better and this was also the only place I stayed during my entire time in Georgia, where the owners didn’t attempt to rip me off.

I was overcharged by another taxi driver to get to my guesthouse. I was told by the guesthouse owner that the taxi driver Mafia is the only thing the government haven’t managed to stamp out yet. The guesthouse owner took me into the city in his car one morning, because no taxi would come and pick me up because they were only looking for extortionate fares from tourists and if it’s from a local guesthouse where the owners know how much taxis really cost, they won’t pick you up.

A view of the city of Tbilisi from the Narikala Fortress
A view of the city of Tbilisi from the Narikala Fortress

I subsequently used the Taxify App, basically the Georgian version of Uber, where they call a taxi for you, tell you the driver’s name, car and registration and the cars are fitted with trackers so they can’t cheat you. Unfortunately this App was only available in Tbilisi. But I used Taxify for the rest of the time I was in Tbilisi and found it to be an excellent service. I was also so grateful to finally find honest taxi drivers, I always gave them a big tip.

Yes, my guesthouse in Tbilisi was lovely. The beds were so comfortable. They had a layer on top of the mattress that made it really soft, the only other person I know who does that is my mother! Initially it looked like it was way off the beaten track and a long way out of the city.  In reality it was only a 20 minute walk to anywhere you needed to be, although it was up a steep hill. It was actually very close to Mtatsminda Hill, the highest point in the city, so you did have a climb back up to it at the end of your sightseeing day. Despite that, if I ever did go back to Tbilisi, I would definitely stay there again.

The top of Narikala Fortress keep can only be reached by clambering on the walls
The top of Narikala Fortress keep can only be reached by clambering on the walls

I can’t say Tbilisi felt the safest place in the world to me when I first ventured out to explore, and it is a big city, 1.5 million population. But after spending a fair bit of time there, I felt more comfortable, even when I was walking back to my guesthouse at night in the dark.

I had 3 plans for my time in Tbilisi, the cable car to Narikala Fortress, one of the sulphur baths in Tbilisi, which I covered in a previous article, and the funicular up Mtatsminda Hill.

A view of the pathway up onto Narikala Fortress walls - this was one of the better sections
A view of the pathway up onto Narikala Fortress walls – this was one of the better sections

First was the cable car. I bought myself a transport card for 60p and loaded it up with £1. That was more than enough to get me up the cable car and back. Then I headed up the hill. First off I went to see the statue of the Mother of Georgia.

Then I followed the signs to get to the Narikala Fortress. The fortress was the location I remembered seeing on the Travel Show, I recalled it was destroyed by an earthquake in 1827 and has only partially been restored.

I made it to the cross on the fortress keep without the aid of a handy printed map!
I made it to the cross on the fortress keep without the aid of a handy printed map!

I could see some people at the top of a tower with a cross on the top and also people at some other towers. I could see there was no proper path to some of the towers, it was just a scramble.  My view was slightly obscured, but I assumed the tower with the cross would be different because it was the main tower of the fortress.

I walked down the pathway to find the entrance where I assumed there would be properly delineated signposted footpaths with steps where appropriate and a handy printed map. Seriously had I learnt nothing during my time in Georgia? A handy printed map? What was I thinking?

How did they get up there? A treacherous path is the answer.
How did they get up there? A treacherous path is the answer.

The Narikala Fortress was exactly the same as just about every other place I’d visited while in Georgia, stone and sand, rough paths of varying degrees of difficulty, which I presumed were graded on how brave you felt. There were steep steps with no handrail and a feeling of, “should I actually be climbing this?” but you see that everybody else does. And there are no rails to stop you, so you do too.

I climbed one part of the fortress wall, at this point I was still suffering from the delusion that there might be a proper footpath to the tower with the cross on top, I searched for one, but of course, it didn’t exist. So I followed the easiest of the rough, stone paths to the tower and then there was nothing for it but climbing the walls as best you could to get to the top. It actually was okay, I found the slippery sandy path a lot more difficult than the climbing up and down, there was plenty to hold on to on the tower walls.

A scramble up the tower walls and me and the lasses from Iran make it to the top
A scramble up the tower walls and me and the lasses from Iran make it to the top

There were 3 lasses from Iran travelling together and they offered to help me in my climb up the tower, but I managed fine on my own. Once at the top, they took a couple of photos of me and then they went to take a selfie. I was going to offer to take a photo for them, but they invited me to join them in the shot and emailed me the photo later that afternoon. Fortress done.

I went and had my traditional sulphur bath and then headed across the road to the wine shop and did a free wine tasting with an enthusiastic sales assistant from Belarus who was eager to let me taste everything she had open. I said I liked reds, so we started on reds, then I had a shot of chacha, which is grape vodka and had a strength of 55%. I was then persuaded to try the white wines too.  I didn’t take a lot of persuading, it has to be said!

View of Tbilisi from Mount Mtatsminda at night
View of Tbilisi from Mount Mtatsminda at night

In order to try and soak up some of the alcohol, I tried a khachapuri, which is the traditional cheese pie they made here. Puff pastry filled with a salty cheese, but not plastic string type which I was unfortunate enough to try later. However, the khachapuri was actually really nice. They charge quite a lot for them in restaurants, but I’d noticed a bakery on my way to the baths, so I called in there and got a fresh one and ate it while I was walking, it was still warm. I did really like it.

The TV Tower on Mount Mtatsminda viewed from the top of the ferris wheel in Mtatsminda Park looks pretty when it's lit up in pink and purple lights at night
The TV Tower on Mount Mtatsminda viewed from the top of the ferris wheel in Mtatsminda Park looks pretty when it’s lit up in pink and purple lights at night

And finally, was I going to be able to fit in the funicular up to the top of Mount Mtatsminda today or not? It was starting to get dark, I didn’t know how late it ran. I didn’t need to worry. It only closes for 4 hours a day. Between 4am and 8am. And it was really close to my guesthouse, so I could walk there in 10 minutes. There’s a restaurant on the top of Mount Mtatsminda and the hill is home to Mtatsminda Park a fun fair with a ferris wheel and rollercoaster.  The TV Tower is also located at the top of the funicular. The TV Tower is covered in satellite dishes so it’s not one you can go up inside like in some places, however, it is all lit up in pink lights at night, so it looks very pretty.

I rode the ferris wheel in Mtatsminda Park, the highest point in the city, to get a view of Tbilisi at night
I rode the ferris wheel in Mtatsminda Park, the highest point in the city, to get a view of Tbilisi at night

I rode the funicular right to the top and I had a walk to the ferris wheel to start with.  It looked like was still going even though it was dark. The same transport card I used for the funicular was also the card I needed to use to go on the ferris wheel. No one else seemed to be interested in going on it and I did wonder if it was closed after all, but it wasn’t, so I got an enclosed carriage to myself and some lovely views of Tbilisi all lit up at night as I went round.  I could see the rollercoaster from the top of the wheel, unfortunately that definitely was closed at this time of night or I would have certainly given that a go.

Peach Martini made with a strong Georgian vodka enjoyed while soaking up the views of the city lights
Peach Martini made with a strong Georgian vodka enjoyed while soaking up the views of the city lights

After my ride on the ferris wheel, I headed back to the restaurant for a cocktail in the bar, took a seat on the terrace and had a cocktail. The cocktail I ordered was a peach martini made with a Georgian vodka which completely overpowered everything else. I didn’t have a second one. Even so, it was quite nice on the terrace overlooking the lights of Tbilisi. The only drawback was the locals are big smokers and even though it was outdoors, it was a smoky atmosphere on the terrace. As a non-smoker who has got used to everything in England now being smoke free, I find smoking antisocial and unpleasant. I just sat as far away from the smokers as I could and it didn’t bother me too much, I could enjoy my cocktail and the view.  It was a lovely evening at the top of the highest peak in the city.

The following day, I decided I didn’t want a further battle by attempting to take any more transport out of Tbilisi, so I opted to stay local.

Tamada, the toastmaster illustrates the importance of wine in Georgia
Tamada, the toastmaster illustrates the importance of wine in Georgia

I had a wander to Freedom Square and then into the old town. There were lots of statues in Tbilisi, I saw one of Tamada, the Georgian Toast Master and another of a man up a ladder lighting a lamp. It was very quiet this early in the morning, there was no one much around.

Statue of a man lighting a lamp in Tbilisi city centre
Statue of a man lighting a lamp in Tbilisi city centre

I continued my walk and found the Peace Bridge. Tbilisi’s Bridge of Peace spanning the Kura River is a wavy, bow shaped pedestrian bridge made of steel and glass and is one of the iconic features of the city. I crossed the bridge and took some photos and crossed back again into the old town.

I then went to the National Gallery which had a permanent exhibition of about 50 paintings. At least I wasn’t completely overwhelmed by the sheer volume of artwork. The temporary exhibition only had about half that number of paintings. But I enjoy art galleries and so I found it quite interesting. I went to the National Museum too, that wasn’t very exciting. I concluded the Russians must have got all the good stuff to exhibit in Moscow and St Petersburg.

Tbilisi's Bridge of Peace
Tbilisi’s Bridge of Peace

I headed back into the old town walked around where the Leaning Puppet Theatre Clock Tower of Tbilisi was, although unfortunately the museum was closed.

After my wanderings around the city, I decided now was the time I should probably have something to eat. I went in one place with interesting chandeliers made out of wine glasses and they had an extensive wine menu. I tried a couple of qvevri red wines, the first one was a bit feeble for my liking, so I had a glass of the stronger second one. It wasn’t exceptional, but it was okay.

The Leaning Puppet Theatre Clock Tower of Tbilisi looks old, but was actually built in 2010
The Leaning Puppet Theatre Clock Tower of Tbilisi looks old, but was actually built in 2010

The qvevri method is the traditional Georgian way of making wine, instead of oak barrels they use clay pots that they bury in the ground and they don’t add any sulphur or anything. I ended up getting quite a taste for the qvevri red wine, but it took a while to grow on me. Initially I didn’t think much to it.

Chandelier made of wine glasses in wine bar where I tasted my first qvevri red wine
Chandelier made of wine glasses in wine bar where I tasted my first qvevri red wine

This place also had rare Georgian cheeses and as I like my cheese I decided to give it a try. You should have seen what I got. This cheese that looked like silly string and tasted like salted plastic! They brought me a cheese that was like smoked Gouda, except I’d already told the waiter and I didn’t like smoked cheese and he said they’d bring me an alternative and they forgot! So I sent that back. The replacement was tasteless, and probably the best was a soft cheese quite like Brie except nowhere near as good. I wasn’t impressed. If this was a representation of the best the Georgian cheese industry has to offer, then after this sample, my conclusion would be that the rest of the cheeses they produce in Georgia must be absolutely revolting!

I wandered back to my guesthouse after my drink and horrible cheese meal and sat in the living room watching the Mentalist on telly that had been dubbed into Georgian. They only seemed to have one actor dubbing all the male characters from what I could tell, all the male voices in the programme were identical! The guesthouse owner brought me a glass of red wine and I had a drink.

Qvevri wine is made in the traditional method in Georgia, using clay pots like these that are buried in the ground
Qvevri wine is made in the traditional method in Georgia, using clay pots like these that are buried in the ground

All in all, I did enjoy Tbilisi, it was a very nice city. However, had I known when I arrived in Georgia what I knew when I left, I would have done things differently. I think the best way to organise my trip to Georgia would have been to base myself in Tbilisi, give myself a day or so in Tbilisi to enjoy the sights there and then to just do day trips from Tbilisi on organised tours. They’re not expensive, you get to see everything and you don’t have to battle with taxi drivers and other people trying to rip you off all the time.

But it had been an experience that I wouldn’t forget. I think maybe my expectations were too high, I wasn’t prepared for how little there was to do in reality and how difficult it would be to get around. My impression was it was a poor country still trying to find its way after all those years of Soviet occupation and it was still a long way off at that time.

Some handy Georgian phrases - if you can work out how to pronounce them!
Some handy Georgian phrases – if you can work out how to pronounce them!

There were a couple of highlights, Davit Gareja was very good, the Caucasus Mountains around Kazbegi are beautiful and I did generally enjoy Tbilisi. I do have some positives to look back on. I can’t see me rushing back, but I never say never and, if I take my own advice, I believe any return visit will be infinitely more successful.

I travelled to Georgia during the first half of October 2016.

I stayed at Guest House Formula 1 in Tbilisi with breakfast included.

Narikala Fortress is at the top of Narikala Hill. You can get to the top of Narikala Hill in a modern cable car which is part of the Tbilisi public transport system. You need a public transport card to ride in the cable car which is available from any transport station in the city.

Tbilisi Public Transport Pass

Narikala Fortress is free to walk around.

Mtatsminda Hill is accessed by the steep inclined funicular. A Mtatsminda Park card is needed for the funicular. This is a different card to the Tbilisi public transport pass card. The Mtatsminda Park card is also needed to go on any of the rides at Mtatsminda Park 

Mtatsminda Park pass

I tried qvevri red wine at G Vino in the heart of Tbilisi Old Town. They have an extensive wine menu. I don’t recommend the cheese!

This Georgian cheese looked like silly string and tasted like salted plastic!
This Georgian cheese looked like silly string and tasted like salted plastic!

Tbilisi is located approximately a three and a half hour drive from Kutaisi. Collective minibuses run frequently between the two cities.

I flew to Georgia on a Wizz Air flight to Kutaisi from Budapest, Hungary. This was a cheaper alternative to flying to the capital, Tbilisi.

I flew to Budapest from Manchester Airport with Jet2.

Read about my other experiences in Georgia.
Traditional Sulphur Bath Experience
Davit Gareja Cliff Monastery Complex
Into the Caucasus Mountains – Kazbegi Region

If you ever are in Georgia – take care! Read about my encounter with the Georgian police when I was unlucky enough to be the victim of a pickpocket.
Reporting a Theft – A Cautionary Tale

Georgia: Traditional Sulphur Bath Experience

Sulphur Baths of the Abanotubani District gave the city of Tbilisi its name
Sulphur Baths of the Abanotubani District gave the city of Tbilisi its name

I was determined I was going to go to a traditional sulphur bath while I was in Tbilisi.  I didn’t want to miss out on this genuine experience because it’s one of the things that Tbilisi is renowned for.  Abanotubani  is the ancient district of the city where the sulphur baths are located, the discovery of the hot springs was apparently the reason for building a city in this location.

I’d heard the sulphur baths were quite an experience.  I was planning on having a massage, but I’d heard they were not exactly gentle and with my poor, painful shin, a remnant from the injury I suffered on the river crossing in the Juta Valley in the mountains the previous day, I didn’t know that I could take it.

Stream running through the Abanotubani district of Tbilisi
Stream running through the Abanotubani district of Tbilisi

I’d been wandering around the sulphur baths earlier and when I passed one, they called me in and invited me to look at a private room which was £10 an hour.  They charged another £7 for a massage.  I looked in another place where they weren’t so friendly and charged twice the price, so I went back to King Erekle’s Bath where they’d showed me round and I got a private room for an hour and also booked a massage.  I was asked if I wanted a man or a woman to massage me.  What kind of service were they offering here?  I’ve had male massage therapists before, but that’s been in proper spas, not these bathhouses where the masseuse rubs you down with an exfoliating mitt and then washes you with soap and you can’t wear your bikini.  I certainly didn’t want a bloke doing that!  So I asked for a woman.  They told me 15 minutes and the masseuse would be there (sorry I can’t call her a massage therapist), meantime I should have a shower and a soak in the sulphur bath.

You could smell the sulphur, it is supposed to be very good for your skin.  The water is very hot!  It’s like when you run a bath and it’s slightly too hot, but you don’t want to put cold water in and cool it down too much so you think, it will soon cool down and put up with it for a few minutes.  Except this water never gets cooler and you feel like a boiled lobster!  I could only manage a few minutes at a time and then I would get out and have a shower with cold water.  Even the cold water wasn’t freezing cold, but it was cool.

Baths fit for a king?
Baths fit for a king?

The masseuse arrived, pretty well what I expected, a very large woman in her 60s wearing a black strapless dress and carrying a bucket.  She took the stuff out of her bucket and told me to get in the hot sulphur bath and she had a shower.  Thankfully, she kept her dress on.  Then she got me to lay on the marble slab and got the bucket, filled it with the hot water from the sulphur bath and threw it over me.  She started with the exfoliating mitt and then threw more hot water over me, did the same on my back and then she started washing me with soap.  There was so much soap that when I turned over I slid down the marble slab, but there was a bit of a wall at the end which was useful to stop me sliding off completely.

She massaged my back and my legs a bit, the pressure was okay, not as hard as I thought it might be.  Certainly not like the massage I had in Singapore where I thought I was going to die!

Boiling hot sulphur bath in my private room
Boiling hot sulphur bath in my private room

Then came the moment for her to throw buckets of hot water from the bath over me again to get rid of all the soap.  She asked me to sit up, I’d read about this, this was where she was about to tip a whole bucket of water over my head.  Which she did.  What I didn’t expect was her to then to start to wash my hair.   And if my lugholes were dirty, they certainly weren’t by the time she’d finished.  Another couple of buckets of water over my head and then she did a second shampoo.  And then she tipped a final couple of buckets of hot sulphuric water over my head.  I thought I’d probably end up going home with green hair.  After this holiday, that would absolutely not have surprised me.  Actually though, that night my hair felt lovely, it was really soft.  And as an added bonus, it didn’t turn green.

I was pleased I went to the sulphur baths.  It was good to soak in the boiling sulphuric water.  As a grown woman, I shouldn’t really be wanting someone else to give me a wash, but it’s all part of the Abanotubani ritual.  The baths certainly weren’t fancy, but it felt more a more genuine experience that way.  This was an ancient tradition of Tbilisi.

Doesn't my hard marble massage table look comfortable? Good job there was a wall at the end otherwise I would have slid off with the slippery soap!
Doesn’t my hard marble massage table look comfortable? Good job there was a wall at the end otherwise I would have slid off with the slippery soap!

However, one word of warning.  I thought I might go back to the sulphur baths on another day, but when I did go back, they were full.  People are very nice to you when they’re not busy and are trying to get customers in, but when they don’t have space, they’re not only not interested, they’re downright rude.   That was certainly my experience on my return to King Erekle’s Bath for a possible second bath.

Walkway by King Erekle's Baths
Walkway by King Erekle’s Baths

I did try a more traditional spa experience near Telavi in the Kakheti region in Eastern Georgia.

I’d booked to go to a winery near Telavi which also had a wine spa, so I booked some treatments as well as a wine tour and wine tasting.  The wine tour lasted 10 minutes and consisted of the hotel manager, who was wearing jeans and a hoodie, showing me the barrels and tanks and clay pots.

At least my tasting of 7 wines, followed by a glass of my favourite took some time, accompanied by bread, cheese and walnut slices in grapes. I’d never had walnut slices in grapes before, but they were delicious.  And I tasted the first decent qvevri white wine I’d had in Georgia, however, the qvevri red was the best and I had a second glass of that.  This place was expensive and got rave reviews, and while it was okay, it wasn’t very grand by European standards.

The Falcon and Pheasant Fountain in Tbilisi - according to legend both birds fell in the hot springs here
The Falcon and Pheasant Fountain in Tbilisi – according to legend both birds fell in the hot springs here

When it got to time for my massage, I had to go and find the manager to ask him where I needed to go instead of someone coming to get me and they were hardly swamped, there was me and a party of four eating lunch!

I’d booked a full body and head massage with a wine bath, followed by a reflexology massage.  The wine bath was hot water in a stainless steel bath with red wine added to it!  I soaked in it for 10 minutes.

The massage was nice, but then I wanted my reflexology massage and was told I’d had it and it had been combined.  I said I hadn’t had the full amount of time I was supposed to be paying for and I knew what a reflexology massage was too, so I got another half hour, but after having a row with the manager about it, I was hardly relaxed.  It was expensive too, but it was yet another example of an inferior establishment in Georgia trying to take advantage of “rich” Western tourists.

Comparing the experience I’d had in Tbilisi to the one in Telavi, I would say, definitely do the traditional sulphur baths in Tbilisi.  I have been to a lot of spas around the world and the one in Telavi was not in my Top 10, although soaking in a bath of red wine was a new experience for me!  It wasn’t worth the journey to Telavi to do that though and the massage was certainly nothing special.  I will say that the lunch was quite nice and the wines were good quality.  But again, it wasn’t worth going to Telavi for.

More sulphur baths in the Abanotubani District
More sulphur baths in the Abanotubani District

However, I did enjoy my sulphur bath and massage in Tbilisi.  It was a genuine Georgian experience.  I was in a traditional sulphur bath house by the river in the Atanubani District of the capital and I would recommend trying it out if you’re in Tbilisi.  It is one of the things that you should experience here.  Just hope you turn up at a quiet time when the staff are trying to draw customers in and then you won’t get the rude attitude I got when they were busier. It would be a shame if that put you off.

In case you’re wondering if Telavi itself is worth visiting, whilst in Telavi I also went to a small winery and a palace.

The lady who ran the guesthouse in Telavi, which was a comfortable guesthouse with a decent breakfast, told me I’d need a day to look around the town and said she had a driver who could take me round for some extortionate price. I’d had enough of being taken advantage of because everyone thought I was a rich Westerner, so I politely declined and walked into the town on my own.  And there was no way you needed a day to look round there.  I got a smelly, broken down taxi (which are generally the only kind available in Georgia) to take me to the winery and palace.

The entrance garden at Tsinandali Palace
The entrance garden at Tsinandali Palace

I was told I should have a wine tour even if I’d been to other wineries, because then you get to see the qvevri method of wine making.  The qvevri method is the traditional Georgian way of making wine, instead of oak barrels they use clay pots and they don’t add any sulphur or anything.  Except there’s nothing really to see and they don’t tell you much either.  The only thing I learned was that these clay pots they ferment the wine in are buried underground.  I was shown around the tiny museum and saw the oak barrels and the clay pots in the ground.  The wine was fermenting at that time.  They only made white qvevri wine at this winery, which is an amber colour and tastes like sherry.  It wasn’t my favourite.  I tried 3 wines that were made French style.  They were okay, none of them blew me away.

I then went next door to the Chavchavadze Palace, which wasn’t what I’d call a palace.  It actually looked like a plantation house you’d find in the American Deep South or the Caribbean.  It was the home of Georgian nobleman, diplomat and poet, Alexandre Chavchavadze and the house is now a museum with some original furniture.  I looked around the half dozen rooms of the house that you can see, had a walk around the very pleasant and quiet grounds and ended up in the bar, sampling more wine.  I was in the wine region, so it seemed the logical thing to do.

The home of Alexandre Chavchavadze looks more like a southern plantation house than a palace
The home of Alexandre Chavchavadze looks more like a southern plantation house than a palace

After the rave reviews from Lonely Planet about the palace, I was expecting more.  It was pleasant enough, but it was hardly worth the journey out to Eastern Georgia.  So I wouldn’t particularly recommend visiting Telavi and its environs if you come to Georgia.

It had been my experience in general, every tourist attraction in Georgia featured in the guidebook was overhyped.  I suppose they need to be, otherwise no one would come here! I sound like a right whinger, don’t I?  It had just been really frustrating battling to try and get anywhere and not get ripped off.

When I went back to Tbilisi in a shared taxi the next day, for once the taxi was fairly tidy and the driver wasn’t a total maniac.  I was first to the taxi so I grabbed the front seat, so I wasn’t cramped in the back.  This bloke came along about 20 minutes later and opened the front door and tried to get me to sit in the back because he wanted to sit in the front.  I refused to move.  I was not going to sit for an hour and a half in the middle on the back seat because he wanted the front seat.  That’s what I mean about everything being a battle.  It was very stressful.  But I was going back to Tbilisi which was somewhere I was starting to enjoy and I was certainly confident finding my way around there now.

I travelled to Georgia during the first half of October 2016.

I had my sulphur bath and massage at King Erekle’s Baths in the Abanotubani District of Tblisi.

Telavi is located in the Kakheti region of Eastern Georgia, approximately 2 hours from Tbilisi.  Collective taxis and minibuses travel between the two destinations regularly.

I had my spa treatments and wine tasting at Schuchmann Wines winery, hotel, restaurant and spa.  Schuchmann Wines is a short taxi ride away from the centre of Telavi.

You can also taste wine and tour the historic Chavchavadze Palace at the Tsinandali Estate located a 15 minute taxi ride from central Telavi.

I stayed at Marinella Guesthouse in Telavi with breakfast included.

I flew to Georgia on a Wizz Air flight to Kutaisi from Budapest, Hungary. This was a cheaper alternative to flying to the capital, Tbilisi.

I flew to Budapest from Manchester Airport with Jet2.

Read about my other experiences in Georgia.
The Hilltops of Tbilisi
Davit Gareja Cliff Monastery Complex
Into the Caucasus Mountains – Kazbegi Region

If you ever are in Georgia – take care! Read about my encounter with the Georgian police when I was unlucky enough to be the victim of a pickpocket.
Reporting a Theft – A Cautionary Tale

Read about my spa experience in Austria
Längenfeld Aqua Dome Spa

Read about another wine tasting experience I had in Liechtenstein
Wine Tasting in the Prince’s Cellar

Georgia: Into the Caucasus Mountains

Me and Mount Kazbegi in the Caucasus Mountains
Me and Mount Kazbegi in the Caucasus Mountains

I was venturing away from Tbilisi for a couple of days to Stepantsminda or Kazbegi, as it’s often known, in the Caucasus Mountains.

I noticed the travel agency I’d gone to Davit Gareja with were doing tours to Kazbegi the following day. I asked if they did transfers, they said they didn’t, but I could book on a tour and then just stay there. For £20 I’d have a comfortable transfer and there would be a couple of stops along the way and an included journey to the church on the top of the hill. It was a no brainer. A comfortable, new, clean Mercedes minivan instead of one of the grotty public minibuses? It was well worth paying £20 for. And it was one less public minibus I’d have to take.

Zhinvali Reservoir on the Georgian Military Highway
Zhinvali Reservoir on the Georgian Military Highway

I was up early to go to Kazbegi and because it’s a popular tour there were 3 minibuses. I was on the one with the English guide, with the Austrian lady again.

View of the Towers of the Assumption Church from the top of Ananuri Fortress
View of the Towers of the Assumption Church from the top of Ananuri Fortress

We stopped at the Ananuri Fortress first where there are 2 churches and a tower to climb. There are very few barriers up in these buildings in Georgia, basically if you can find a way to climb up a tower, you can climb it. So I climbed it. I did have to watch my step, there was nothing to stop you from climbing the tower, but also no proper steps up there either and once at the top there were huge holes in the floor and nothing to stop you falling through them. You just had to be careful.

Decorative entrance to the Assumption Church at Ananuri
Decorative entrance to the Assumption Church at Ananuri

After our stop at the fortress, we got back in the minibus to go over the mountain pass. There’s a ski resort at the top of the pass called Gudauri, built by the Austrians, so it looks quite smart. You have brilliant views of the mountains from there and it’s also the location of the Russia-Georgia Friendship Monument, commonly known as the Peace Wall. This circular wall built in 1983 on the Georgian Military Highway overlooking the Devil’s Valley has been painted with brightly coloured murals representing scenes from Georgian history. It was worth the climb along the road to see it up close and there wasn’t too much treacherous clambering to do here either! All tour buses stop here, so there were several market stalls selling honey and hats, scarves and gloves.

The circular Russia-Georgia Friendship Monument at the highest point of the Georgian Military Highway
The circular Russia-Georgia Friendship Monument at the highest point of the Georgian Military Highway

Then it was on to Kazbegi. There were jeep transfers to the Holy Trinity Church at Gergeti which overlooks Mount Kazbegi, the third highest mountain in Georgia. We stopped off at a restaurant first to order lunch, but since I was staying in Kazbegi I wasn’t planning to eat in a restaurant chosen by the tour company. So I just waited for everyone else and we transferred to the jeeps.

Bright murals depicting Georgian history decorate the Russia-Georgia Friendship Monument
Bright murals depicting Georgian history decorate the Russia-Georgia Friendship Monument

The jeeps were, in fact, Mitsubishi minivans and they were all right hand drive. In Georgia, they got hold vehicles as cheaply as they could and didn’t pay extra to buy left hand drives, so I came across a few right hand drive vehicles while I was there. I was sitting in the back, but this Polish lass said she was scared sitting in the front, so I said I’d swap with her and sit in the front seat. Most drivers in Georgia are completely mad. The Austrian lady from the tour to Davit Gareja made me laugh when she mentioned her minibus ride the previous day. She said there wasn’t a middle lane, but the minibus driver had made a middle lane! Our driver was worse! You’re on these really bumpy stone roads, they’re not even gravel. I have driven on these types of roads before, but here you’ve got all the animals on the road and they really don’t look wide enough for vehicles to pass, they looked like single track roads. Not only was our driver passing other vehicles coming from the opposite direction, he was also overtaking them! I took a very sharp intake of breath on the return journey when I could see two vehicles coming in the opposite direction and our driver decided that was the right moment to overtake the minivan in front. The Polish lass would not have liked being in the front for that!

View of the Devil's Valley from the Peace Wall near Gudauri
View of the Devil’s Valley from the Peace Wall near Gudauri

It was a long drive up there and 5km on an appalling road, with an equally appalling driver, seemed to take forever. Although I have to say that I wouldn’t have been so keen to hike up there, it was a very long way.

A perfect view of Mount Kazbegi, the third highest mountain in Georgia
A perfect view of Mount Kazbegi, the third highest mountain in Georgia

It was beautiful up there, a perfect view of Mount Kazbegi from the church, a great view of the Caucasus Mountains from the other side. Looking down from one side you could see the town of Stepantsminda below and the mountains beyond. On the other side I got a marvellous view of Mount Kazbegi on this clear, sunny day. I had a quick look inside the iconic 14th century Holy Trinity Church and then climbed onto the wall to get a photo of me with Mount Kazbegi behind me. It was very windy by the church whichever side of it you were. I was standing on a wall and suddenly this gust of wind came out of nowhere and almost knocked me off my feet. I was lucky not to fall off the wall. On the other side of the church I looked like I was about to get blown off the mountain down into the valley below the way the strong winds were blowing my clothes. After a good look round and photos we headed back to the minivan and our death wish driver for the return journey. I’m writing this, so I obviously survived the drive back…

The iconic Gergeti Holy Trinity Church
The iconic Gergeti Holy Trinity Church

I asked the guide what I should do if I was spending the day in Kazbegi tomorrow. He recommended a 10 hour return hike to the glacier. No thank you! I’ve seen plenty of glaciers in Canada, Alaska, New Zealand, Austria, etc. I felt there was no need to hike for 10 hours to see one in Georgia. Besides which, I’d seen the hiking trails in the Caucasus. 10 hours for Georgian people probably means 14 hours for me! So I asked at the guesthouse where I was staying and they said they did tours to a waterfall and a nearby valley where you could hike. So that was my plan for the next day.

I almost got blown off the wall in the high winds
I almost got blown off the wall in the high winds

My guesthouse in Kazbegi was okay. There was a balcony where I sat drinking semi-sweet Georgian red wine (which wasn’t bad) and looking at Mount Kazbegi, the third highest mountain in Georgia. There are worse views. No, it was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky and the view of the mountain was amazing.

Enjoying the view of Mount Kazbegi and the distant Holy Trinity Church whilst sipping semi-sweet red wine on my balcony
Enjoying the view of Mount Kazbegi and the distant Holy Trinity Church whilst sipping semi-sweet red wine on my balcony

I was chatting to a German lad at breakfast before I went out the next day and I said I’d found it difficult getting around Georgia. He recommended hitchhiking! And he was being serious! I don’t hitchhike. I’m a woman travelling on my own and I don’t think it’s safe. I don’t pick up hitchhikers either. As a woman on my own I think I have to make my safety a priority.

I was a passenger for many miles along very bumpy roads in this old Lada 4x4
I was a passenger for many miles along very bumpy roads in this old Lada 4×4

He said you could end up in places where you had no other choice than to hitchhike. I said I just wouldn’t get myself into that situation where I was stranded and needed to hitchhike. He said you might be somewhere beautiful and waiting for the sunlight to be right for a photograph and then after that the last bus had gone and you’d be stranded. As far as I’m concerned, there is no photo in the world worth getting stranded for!

Gveleti Waterfall in the dry season
Gveleti Waterfall in the dry season

I just did the walk to the Gveleti Waterfall in the morning. The bloke who ran the guesthouse took me there in his 4×4 Lada van which was so old it had a choke! He pointed out the trail, which his son had told me was “normal” and then offered to come with me if I was unsure. I would have managed on my own, but I would have been pretty slow and it would have been a struggle. Normal? Not my idea of a normal trail. I had quite a lot of help over the steep parts with the bloke holding my hand and my arm to stop me falling. But it was a remote location, which I really liked, the waterfall was lovely and it was a gorgeous day.

Sunlight reflects off the cross on the road to Gveleti Waterfall
Sunlight reflects off the cross on the road to Gveleti Waterfall

On the way back, we stopped off on the road at a cross and up in the mountains was a church. I could just about see it up in the mountains in the distance, but didn’t manage to get a photo of it. I settled for a photo of the cross instead.

The hiking trail to Black Mountain looks easy until you have to cross the river and there are no bridges
The hiking trail to Black Mountain looks easy until you have to cross the river and there are no bridges

In the afternoon I went to the Juta Valley, which is very beautiful. It’s a very long and bumpy road to get there, but the Lada van seemed to be able to cope with the rough terrain.  I got out of the car, was pointed in the right direction to get to the trail head and I set off on my hike.

You can see the Black Mountain and a glacier and the trail isn’t steep as it follows the valley. It was a lovely sunny day, I was enjoying my walk and thinking that spending a day in Kazbegi had been a good idea after all, because it is gorgeous. That was until it came to the stream crossings. Was there a bridge? Don’t be silly! Stepping stones in a helpful position? Of course not! I got some help across the first crossing, but slipped on the second one, which I am prone to do. I don’t mind getting wet socks much, in this weather they were going to dry out really quickly, but there were so many big rocks in the river, I bashed my right knee on one of them and my left shin on another. My shin, in particular was very painful and a right mess that night. Would it really be too much of an effort to secure a couple of planks of wood over the river? Horses go along that trail, so you wouldn’t even need people to carry the wood to the river, the horse could carry it.

This was as close as I got to the glacier on my hike
This was as close as I got to the glacier on my hike

However, since I could pretty well guarantee that was going to be my last ever hike in the Caucasus Mountains I decided to carry on for a while, but my turning back point would be when I came across another river crossing with no bridge. So I got as close to the Black Mountain as the trail took me and then it started to turn back. The owner’s son hadn’t made it clear whether this was a circular route, so I wasn’t sure, but then, there it was, another river crossing with no bridge. That was where I turned back. The only bridge on the river had been put there by the proprietors of a café. You had to cross the river to get to the café and they had obviously decided that without a bridge nobody would venture there. I didn’t even bother when they had provided a bridge, so I imagine their assumption that no bridge would equate to no customers was correct.

My fateful hike to Black Mountain in the Juta Valley
My fateful hike to Black Mountain in the Juta Valley

When I got back to the other river crossings, two really close together, I got some help to get across because there were loads of people there. I went in ankle deep with one foot and my sock got wet again, but I didn’t care about that. As long as I didn’t have a matching bashed shin on my right leg too. They really should put a bridge in. It’s a very popular trail and everyone was struggling to get across the river. And although the Caucasus Mountains are beautiful, they’re very similar to mountain regions in other parts of the world, so it isn’t like if you don’t come here you’ll never see scenery like it anywhere else.

Dramatic jagged peaks and a distant glacier in the Caucasus Mountains
Dramatic jagged peaks and a distant glacier in the Caucasus Mountains

The next day I left Kazbegi and it had an extremely unpromising start. The first minibus to Tbilisi out of Kazbegi goes at 7am, so I was up at 6am, the guesthouse owner transported me and my suitcase to the main road where the minibuses go from, we were there at 6.50am. The 7 o’clock minibus had been full and gone early! Seems everyone was desperate to get out of Kazbegi! The 8 o’clock one would leave early if it was full. Of course that didn’t happen. I was sitting in a freezing cold minibus for over an hour before it finally set off. At that moment in time I really hated Georgia! We’d only gone a couple of kilometres down the road and the minibus driver turned round. What the hell was he doing? He pulled into a petrol station, had a quick conversation with someone there and then took off again. He pulled over a couple of times to chat to someone in the road and also pulled over so a passenger could get a bottle of water out of her bag! I just despair. However, I did eventually get back to Tbilisi.

Flying off into the Caucasus Mountains
Flying off into the Caucasus Mountains

And I’d seen the Caucasus Mountains. You can’t go to Georgia and not visit the Caucasus Mountains or you would always wonder what they were like. Now I won’t have to wonder.

I travelled to Georgia during the first half of October 2016.

I travelled to Kazbegi on a day trip from Tbilisi with Holidays in Georgia travel agency located at 8 Kote Apkhazi Street, in Tbilisi city centre.  This day trip stopped at Zhinvali Reservoir, Ananuri Fortress, the Russia-Georgia Friendship Monument and included a tour up to the Gergeti Holy Trinity Church.

Stepantsminda is approximately a 3 hour drive from Tbilisi.

I stayed at Anano Guesthouse in the centre of Stepantsminda.  The guesthouse offer transfers to the local attractions for a fixed price.  I took transfers to the Juta Valley to hike to the Black Mountain and to Gveleti Waterfall.

My ensuite room at Anano Guesthouse with wonderful views of the surrounding Caucasus Mountains
My ensuite room at Anano Guesthouse with wonderful views of the surrounding Caucasus Mountains

I flew to Georgia on a Wizz Air flight to Kutaisi from Budapest, Hungary. This was a cheaper alternative to flying to the capital, Tbilisi.

I flew to Budapest from Manchester Airport with Jet2.

I also used Holidays in Georgia to go on a day trip to Davit Gareja from Tbilisi.  Read about my experience.
Davit Gareja Cliff Monastery Complex

Read about my time in the city of Tbilisi.
The Hilltops of Tbilisi
Traditional Sulphur Bath Experience

If you ever are in Georgia – take care! Read about my encounter with the Georgian police when I was unlucky enough to be the victim of a pickpocket.
Reporting a Theft – A Cautionary Tale

Georgia: Davit Gareja Cliff Monastery Complex

They knew how to decorate their monastic cave cells 1200 years ago!
They knew how to decorate their monastic cave cells 1200 years ago!

I’d made my way to the capital of Georgia, Tbilisi.  Today I was doing a day trip from Tbilisi to Davit Gareja.  I had it on my list of possible things to do and a whole day trip with a local travel agency was £20.

At half past eight in the morning I walked from my guesthouse into the city centre to the travel agency to meet the minibus that would take me to Davit Gareja.  For a Friday there wasn’t much traffic about at that time in the morning.

Monastic cells built into the cliff
Monastic cells built into the cliff

The tour to Davit Gareja was good.  Going on a tour means that you’re in a clean, comfortable, air conditioned, Mercedes minivan with no smoking allowed, so you’re travelling in comfort.  By Georgian standards, and compared with the local minibus I’d endured to travel from Kutaisi to Tbilisi the day before, it was super luxury!

Davit Gareja is a monastery complex built into the cliffs which was founded in the 6th century by St David, an Assyrian monk.

Tower in the central courtyard of the main monastery building
Tower in the central courtyard of the main monastery building

It was as well I went on a tour because the complex is large; there are lots of different paths that lead you round the back of the cliff where there are more caves that monks inhabited.  I’d have never found my way round on my own.  I’d have had difficulty managing the trails on my own too.  Apparently we took the difficult way up and the easy way down.  I wouldn’t say the way down was that easy, but I would concede it was easier than the way up.

We started out by going in to the front of the complex.  This had been the main building of the monastery and there were several caves that had been built into the rock face, visible from the monastery, although there was quite a lot of excavation work going on here.

In the main part of the monastery at the start of the tour
In the main part of the monastery at the start of the tour

The guide was speaking in Russian and English, but his command of English wasn’t brilliant, so those of us who didn’t speak Russian only got half the story of what we were looking at.  But the guide helped me on the trail a lot and took some nice photos for me too.  Getting the help I needed on the trail was more important than getting lots of information about the complex.  When I said I was from England, he said these trails were difficult for English people; Georgian people were used to them.  And I come from a place where we have no hills.  We’re below sea level where I live.  So it doesn’t prepare me particularly well for mountains!

Central complex of the monastery from above and the Georgian Badlands beyond!
Central complex of the monastery from above and the Georgian Badlands beyond!

Thankfully it was too cold for snakes.  Apparently there are a lot of poisonous snakes there in the summer.  If I’d known that in advance I might not have booked the tour.  I’m frightened of snakes and the thought of poisonous ones in the wild that can appear out of nowhere while you’re walking along the hiking trails is particularly alarming.  So it was a relief it was too cold for them.  It certainly wasn’t too cold for me though.  It was early October and I was plenty warm enough in shorts and a sleeveless top.  And I feel the cold.

On the cliff dwellings trail with Azerbaijan behind me
On the cliff dwellings trail with Azerbaijan behind me

When we went on the other side of the cliff, we could see Azerbaijan.  There were a lot of white posts and they marked the border, which is heavily disputed in this area.  I could see a building in the distance; that must have been the border post.

If you look closely you can see the white posts that are the border with Azerbaijan and the border post building
If you look closely you can see the white posts that are the border with Azerbaijan and the border post building

The other side of the cliff was also where they had the painted caves that were around 1200 years old.  These monastic cells were beautifully decorated with well-preserved frescoes.  There were several paths around this side of the cliff, leading to different caves on different levels.  It wasn’t really necessary to go along every path and view all of the caves, so the guide took us to a few of them with the best preserved frescoes and then we headed back over to the other side of the cliff.

1200 year old portrayal of the Last Supper
1200 year old portrayal of the Last Supper

There were plenty of lookout towers throughout the complex and you could hike up to any you wanted to.  There were rough trails winding around both sides of the entire cliff and you could go on any of them, so you could access any of the lookout towers for great views of the surrounding countryside.

You can't even see where the hiking trail goes here!
You can’t even see where the hiking trail goes here!

This area of Georgia is desert and it actually looked a lot like the Badlands in North America.  Lots of different coloured rocks, layered up in the hillsides.  I got chatting to an Austrian lady that day and also a lad from Syria helped me on the trail going down.  He asked how old I was and said I was doing really well on the trail when a lot of the younger lasses on the tour hadn’t done the walk at all.  He held my hand going down some of the trickier spots, although I think I was helping him as much as he was helping me because he was slipping and sliding on the loose rock.  I think that was more to do with his shoes than anything.  There were steps in places and it wasn’t too bad going down.  Having said that, I did have my walking boots on, I wouldn’t have wanted to attempt the trails in any other footwear.  We did meet a woman who had blisters and couldn’t get her shoes on, so she was doing the trail in flip flops!  Madness!

The perilous hiking trail and the monastery cells in the cliffside
The perilous hiking trail and the monastery cells in the cliffside

But all in all, it was quite a good day.  After our hike we had a bit of a break and ate lunch.  We called at a supermarket on the way to Davit Gareja because there were no café facilities there, so that we could buy a few snacks to keep us going, but one enterprising young man was operating a mobile tea and coffee shop out of the boot of his Beetle!  I thought he only had coffee, but he had several varieties of tea as well.  It was nice to have a cup of green tea after my walk.

An enterprising lad selling hot drinks from his car in the middle of nowhere!
An enterprising lad selling hot drinks from his car in the middle of nowhere!

We stopped at a place that did free wine tasting on the way back.  This did become quite a regular occurrence during my time in Georgia.  They gave you a full glass of every wine you wanted to taste, after the first one I only had small amounts of the other two.  It was really cheap £1.50 for a litre.  It was drinkable and I did regret not buying any, although it certainly wasn’t stunning wine.  But then, what could I expect for £1.50?

Hiking down the long stairway back to the monastery
Hiking down the long stairway back to the monastery

I was planning to stay in the city centre for a while after the tour before going back to my guesthouse, but after the long journey back to Tbilisi, our 5 o’clock finish turned out to be nearer to 7 o’clock and I was tired out.  The travel agency certainly gave me my money’s worth.  So I just grabbed a bagel and headed back to the guesthouse ready for my early start the next day.

I travelled to Georgia during the first half of October 2016.

I went on a day trip to Davit Gareja from Tbilisi with Holidays in Georgia travel agency located at 8 Kote Apkhazi Street, in Tbilisi city centre.

Davit Gareja is approximately a 2 hour drive from Tbilisi. There are no facilities at the monastery complex (apart from the Coffee Beetle!) Bring supplies.

I flew to Georgia on a Wizz Air flight to Kutaisi from Budapest, Hungary. This was a cheaper alternative to flying to the capital, Tbilisi.

I flew to Budapest from Manchester Airport with Jet2.

Read about my time in the city of Tbilisi.
The Hilltops of Tbilisi
Traditional Sulphur Bath Experience

Everyone should take a trip to the Caucasus Mountains if they visit Georgia. Read about my journey there.
Into the Caucasus Mountains

If you ever are in Georgia – take care! Read about my encounter with the Georgian police when I was unlucky enough to be the victim of a pickpocket.
Reporting a Theft – A Cautionary Tale

Georgia: Reporting a Theft – A Cautionary Tale

Definitive proof there ARE criminals in Georgia - a Wanted poster in Kutaisi Police Station
Definitive proof there ARE criminals in Georgia – a Wanted poster in Kutaisi Police Station

There’s a Dino song called “Georgia Sunshine” referring to Georgia, USA and the second line is “how I wish that I was there”.  I was definitely thinking “You and me both, Dino” since I arrived in Georgia, a country that was part of the Soviet Union, because I couldn’t say I was enamoured with this former Russian republic.

I’d just endured the most bizarre day reporting a theft to try and get a report for my travel insurance company and it definitely qualifies as one of the strangest travel experiences I’ve ever had.

I’d been flying through the night and got to my hotel at 5.30am local time, which was 3.30am on continental time that I’d been on for the last month.  I slept for a few hours and then walked to Tourist Information close by.  I decided I had enough time to do the Prometheus Cave and the Sataplia Nature Reserve that afternoon.

I went to the cave first and it’s famous in Georgia, but it was a mistake going there for 2 reasons.  Firstly, I’d just been in Slovenia and after Škocjan, Postojna and Križna, it came a very poor 17th.  Secondly I got my iPod stolen by a pickpocket there.

The scene of the crime - Prometheus Cave
The scene of the crime – Prometheus Cave

I had my waterproof jacket on going round the cave and my iPod was in my zipped pocket.  Then we had to get on a shuttle bus at the exit to take us back to the car park.  It was hot, I took my waterproof off on the bus, put my iPod in the pocket of my shorts, there were about 20 people on the tour, not enough seats on the bus, it was crowded, someone must have seen me put it in my pocket and swiped it.  It was my own fault for being careless, I’m always warning people on my tours about pickpockets, but I didn’t think there’d be a problem on a cave tour with just 20 people.  It wasn’t like I was in a huge crowd.  I got into my taxi in the car park and we’d just started driving down the road when I realised my iPod wasn’t in my pocket.  I went back onto the bus and searched, it was nowhere, had a look in the car park, it was nowhere, asked if anyone had handed it in at the ticket office, they hadn’t, I even went back to the exit to look around there, although I knew it wouldn’t be there.

I really was kicking myself and didn’t particularly enjoy the Sataplia Nature Reserve after that where they’d found a dinosaur footprint, even though it was a beautiful walk through the woods on a lovely, sunny day.

In the evening, I went to have a look at Bagrati Cathedral, Kutaisi’s 11th century Georgian Orthodox Church perched on the top of Ukimerioni Hill and was considering what to do the next day.

I needed a report about my stolen iPod for my insurance, apparently I didn’t need a police report, a hotel one would do, but I couldn’t make them understand what I needed.  Besides the hotel didn’t even have any headed paper, so I doubted the insurance company would take it.  So I thought the best thing to do first thing in the morning was to go to the police station to get a report.

The dinosaur looks like it's creeping up on me...
The dinosaur looks like it’s creeping up on me…

So what follows is the reconstruction of my bizarre day reporting my stolen iPod to the police.  It took 6 hours!

I went into the police station in Kutaisi, there were all these police both in uniform and plain clothes standing outside.  I went inside to this empty corridor and went in the first room I could see and asked the lady in there if she spoke English.  Of course, she didn’t.  They found someone who spoke English, I’d typed up what had happened so he read that, it was a bit easier than me trying to explain it.  He said the boss would come and talk to me in about 10 minutes.  I explained I just needed a police report for my insurance, I wasn’t expecting to get the iPod back, but I could send a report in to my insurance company and they would give me the money to get another one.

Half an hour later, I was still waiting, so I took a photo of the Wanted Notice Board to prove I’d been in the police station.

A view of the hills from my walk in the Sataplia Nature Reserve
A view of the hills from my walk in the Sataplia Nature Reserve

Then a policeman in uniform came to speak to me, he spoke good English, he said he’d been learning English at school since he was 6, he took the details from me, although I had problems with everyone I spoke to trying to make them understand it was an iPod just for music, not an iPhone or an iPad.  This policeman seemed to understand.  In between me explaining what had happened he kept asking me questions about where I was going in Georgia, was I alone, and the favourite that everyone kept asking me and he asked me about 4 times, did I like Georgia?  I needed their help, so I couldn’t exactly say I hated it and wanted to go home, so I was diplomatic.  He said he had a break at 6pm and offered to show me around the botanical gardens!

Another concept that the Georgians seemed to find difficult to get their heads around was that of travel insurance.  They seemed amazed that I’d get money for my stolen iPod, it seemed totally alien to them.  The policeman said it was bad when things like this happened to tourists because they then went home and told all their friends not to go to Georgia and thought it was really bad when the victim was a young woman on her own.  I agree with all that.

Then said the sheriff would be there to take my statement.  What?  I thought he was the sheriff!  I had to wait again? I was watching this woman whose sole job seemed to be sweeping the long corridor, she did it about 3 times while I was there.  It got to twenty past eleven and by now I’d been in the police station well over an hour and a half.  So I pointed at my watch to the woman I’d spoken to originally and said sheriff.  Then another old woman who kept carrying a kettle from room to room brought me a cup of coffee.  I didn’t want to offend her, but I hate coffee.  I took one sip, but it was impossible for me to drink it.  I apologised later (although she probably didn’t understand) when she got the cup from me and poured the coffee on a nearby plant. All this hanging around, usually to pass the time I’d be listening to my iPod… What an idiot!

Walking through the woods at the Sataplia Nature Reserve
Walking through the woods at the Sataplia Nature Reserve

Finally the someone else came to see me, a bloke in jeans, who I later realised must have been the sheriff, because the bosses don’t have to wear a uniform.  I had to explain what had happened all over again.  And then try and make him understand it was an iPod, not a phone or tablet and that I needed a report for my insurers.  Ramaz, who had offered to take me to the botanical gardens, was around and spoke better English than the sheriff so he helped a bit with translating.  Then the sheriff rang someone on the phone and she was asking me where it had happened.  That was an uphill battle as well, trying to explain it had happened on the shuttle bus between the cave exit and the car park.

Then for the really bad news.  As it had happened at the cave, that wasn’t Kutaisi police territory, I’d have to go to another police station.  Someone would come and pick me up.  You just couldn’t make it up, could you?  Ramaz said it would take about 2 or 3 hours.  After the 2 hours I’d already completely wasted in this police station?

I was waiting another half hour for someone to come and pick me up.  I got fed up sitting on this hard chair, so I got up walked to the door, stood in the sunshine and was told by another policeman in the corridor I couldn’t stand outside, I had to sit down.  Finally this policeman came to pick me up, he didn’t speak English, I can’t speak Russian.  I thought he was just there to transport me to the other police station.  That’s what he should have done, but again it was just bizarre what happened.

The amazing fountain roundabout with its armoured horses and the Toast Master in Kutaisi
The amazing fountain roundabout with its armoured horses and the Toast Master in Kutaisi

I should also tell you about the driving in Georgia.  It’s mad! People overtaking each other, honking their horns and cows all over the road.  There are no fences, so there are animals, mostly cows, wandering onto the road.  There was one cow laid in the middle of the road and cars were just speeding past it either side.  Another cow was standing in the road on our side and the policeman just drove straight at it and swerved at the last minute to miss it.  What if it had started walking?  The car was fitted with seatbelts, but they didn’t work, so I was just praying.

So this bizarre journey to the police station.  The policeman rang someone and then pulled into this school car park and this woman got in the back of the car and wanted to know what had happened and was translating.  Then she got someone on the phone who was asking what had happened and I was trying to make her understand over the speaker on the phone.  Then the policeman got his wallet out and found a couple of business cards that he thought might be useful for me, one for the American Embassy and one for the FBI!  Even if I was an American, the FBI are not going to be interested in an iPod stolen by a pickpocket at a cave in Georgia.  This was a petty theft, it was hardly an episode of Criminal Minds!  The policeman dropped this woman off and drove me round the corner to the police station and told me to sit down.  So what had that strange telephone conversation in the back of the police car in the school car park been about?  To this day I’ve never worked out the answer to that question!

The chief of this police station arrived and invited me into his office and asked me to explain what had happened.  He’d lived in London for 10 years, so he spoke good English, but he didn’t seem to get the concept of travel insurance either.

Cathedral of the Dormition by night, a Georgian Orthodox Church in Kutaisi better known as Bagrati Cathedral
Cathedral of the Dormition by night, a Georgian Orthodox Church in Kutaisi better known as Bagrati Cathedral

So I went through everything with him and he seemed very offended that I thought someone had stolen my iPod, he said they didn’t have criminals in Georgia.  I give up!  I said it could have been another tourist.  He said had I seen anyone take it?  No, because if I had I would have done something about it at the time!  I did say I’d been back to the bus and searched, searched the ground at the exit of the cave and the car park, been into the ticket office twice to ask if anyone had handed it in.  I wasn’t expecting to get it back, I just needed a report for my insurers.

The end?  Of course not!  This smartly dressed woman came into the office with some cans of Coke and bottles of water.  She offered me a drink, I took a can of Coke because I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink and I was wilting, the sugar would hopefully do me good.  The smartly dressed woman then sat down and asked me to tell her what had happened.  Again?  Another one?  How many times do I have to explain this and to how many different people?  It turned out she was the official translator.  So I had to explain it to her, she seemed to think the same as me that someone had taken it out of my pocket.  Even if I’d dropped it, which I doubt because I’d have heard it fall, someone had picked it up and taken off with it, otherwise they would have handed it in.  I’m not blind, I searched everywhere, someone had taken it.  But the police chief seemed insistent that there were no criminals in Georgia.

However, he said they would sort me a police report out.  He said that the report would say that I had lost my iPod and where I had last seen it and that I wasn’t sure what had happened to it, basically so they weren’t admitting in the report that there were any criminals in Georgia.  It was  going to be in Georgian script and would need translating, but it was an official police report and would be good enough for my insurers.  It took two policeman and a secretary to produce this police report.  But finally I had it in my hand.

As if I hadn't had enough of caves for one day, I went in the one at Sataplia too!
As if I hadn’t had enough of caves for one day, I went in the one at Sataplia too!

Then the police chief called me back into his office and said he’d arrange for someone to drive me back to Kutaisi.  While we waited I asked him if his job was busy.  He replied that he was busier than he’d ever been.  Whichever way you look at it, there are some serious flaws in that reply.  If he really was busier than he’d ever been, that sort of suggested that there were quite a few criminals in Georgia, otherwise why would he be so very busy?  On the other hand he’d spent the better part of the afternoon with a tourist reporting the theft of her iPod (and while I was in his office he didn’t do much apart from smoke a couple of cigarettes and show me some photos on Facebook) that suggested that he didn’t have a lot else to do with his time.  I can’t imagine walking into a police station in England to report a theft and being invited into the Chief Inspector’s office.  Make up your own mind.

The police chief asked me if I would come back to Georgia.  My reply was a diplomatic “maybe” and he said when I came back to give him a call and he’d take me to Batumi on the Black Sea, it was a beautiful resort.

I waited until the same policeman who offered me the FBI business card came to take me back to Kutaisi to my hotel and endured the same mad, terrifying driving on my return journey.  But I was grateful to them for transporting me instead of making me get taxis or the bus.  Now can you see why it took me 6 hours?

The precious police report in Georgian script was the end result of the 6 hours it took reporting the theft of my iPod
The precious police report in Georgian script was the end result of the 6 hours it took reporting the theft of my iPod

A word of warning, if any of you do decide to holiday in Georgia, don’t be stupid enough to lose anything like I did or you’ll have to go through something like that! Or maybe not. My friends are constantly amazed by all the bizarre and surreal things that seem to happen to me that they have never heard happen to anyone else!

By the way, after all I went through to report this minor crime to the Georgian authorities, when I got home, my travel insurers paid up without even asking to look at the police report I’d worked so hard to get.  I think that’s what you call Sod’s law!

If this article hasn’t put you off the idea of travelling to Georgia for life, here are some practicalities.

I travelled to Georgia during the first half of October 2016.

The first hotel I stayed at in Kutaisi was appalling.  I moved to a second hotel which was beautiful and I would recommend.

Grand rooms with chandeliers and apparently the room I was in had been slept in by a king!  If you also want to stay in a hotel patronised by royalty I stayed at the Edemi Hotel

Hotel fit for a king in Kutaisi
Hotel fit for a king in Kutaisi

Prometheus Cave is located 21km from Kutaisi, an approximately 30 minute drive. You go through the cave on a guided tour. WATCH OUT FOR PICKPOCKETS!

The Sataplia Nature Reserve is located approximately 10km from Kutaisi. I travelled here after visiting the Prometheus Cave. A guide shows you the dinosaur footprint and then it is self guided tour through the nature reserve and the cave.

The Cathedral of Dormition, better known as Bagrati Cathedral is walking distance from Kutaisi city centre at the top of Ukimerioni Hill. It is open from approximately 9am to 8pm and entrance is free.

I flew to Georgia on a Wizz Air flight to Kutaisi from Budapest, Hungary. This was a cheaper alternative to flying to the capital, Tbilisi.

I flew to Budapest from Manchester Airport with Jet2.

To see a more positive side of Georgia, read about my time in the city of Tbilisi.
The Hilltops of Tbilisi

I went on a day trip to Davit Gareja near the Azerbaijan border from Tbilisi.  Read about my experience.
Davit Gareja Cliff Monastery Complex

Read about my traditional sulphur bath experience in Tbilisi
Traditional Sulphur Bath Experience

Everyone should take a trip to the Caucasus Mountains if they visit Georgia. Read about my journey there.
Into the Caucasus Mountains

To read about a rather more successful caving adventure, check out my post about the Gaping Gill cave in the Yorkshire Dales National Park.